Slamming the door.

Naivety (sp?) is the strangest thing.  Everytime this happens, I wonder why.  Why I let myself get into the same situation as always, to some extent.  Why I didn't see it coming.  Why I didn't prevent it.  Why I still don't know what to do.


I just want to go swimming and forget about all of this.  Somehow it seems like when I'm in the water, everything disappears.  When I'm by myself, it all comes flooding back, all my failures and shortcomings.  That's really why I hate being by myself.  I can't help thinking about everything that I've ever done wrong.


And this is a really depressing blog.  *stating the obvious.


I just want to get out of here.  Go running, go swimming, do SOME FUCKING THING to forget about everything.  Sometimes I think I'd rather be numb than feel anything.  Other times, I think I'd rather feel everything fully.  I can't even decide that anymore.  This weekend confused the hell out of me.  I'm hoping this week puts me back in my place.


I've got a speech tomorrow.  I'm not excited.

In other news, isn't Jason from True Blood smokin'?!