Because I was so sleepy, and yet so extremely sick, I kept waking up and then falling back asleep. I watched The Royal Tenenbaums to pass the time, per Kent's suggestion, and it was wonderful. I have vowed to view it again when I'm feeling better, so I can be sure to catch all the jokes! Then I decided to watch Blow, starring Johnny Depp, which is a drama about George (Depp) dealing drugs, falling in love with a beautiful woman (Penelope Cruz), and having a daughter, whom he loves the most out of everything in his life. He decides to do one more job in order to get enough money to gain custody of his daughter after he and his wife divorce. However, the job was a set-up and George ends up in jail for the rest of his life. It's quite a sad story, and it was actually based on someone's life (Something Jung, I can't remember). Since I kept falling asleep, it took me FIVE HOURS to watch the movie, haha. It was alright, but I probably would have been more interested if I hadn't been feeling like death the whole time.
Anyways, I'm feeling quite miserable still. I'm at the point where I just want to cuddle and eat a popsicle and fall asleep on my guy's shoulder. Unfortunately, the only men around are my father and brother... gross. So I'm just sitting on my futon by myself, feeling icky.
ANNNNNNNNND as I look at this photo, I just think that I look really dazed, haha. This is my "I don't know what I'm doing, I'm really sick, I'm probably going to accidentally take too much medicine and giggle for two hours" face. And, yes, that did happen once. I kept telling Megan that she was the funniest person I knew and I couldn't stop laughing. At least it made me feel better, haha. I feel like that pic makes my head look likes it's floating. Whatever. Floating heads are bitchin'.
I'm hoping to feel much better tomorrow. Since I was sick all day, I didn't get a chance to make my doctor's appointment for my shoulder, either. I finally caved in last night and took some Advil, but I don't think it helped.
Quick tangent: When I feel sick, I tend to think crappy things about my life and I'm feeling particularly bummed about things right now. So here goes. All I want in life is a real family. I want a husband and four to seven children and to cook and clean my house with a swimming pool and a barbecue and a family that loves each other, no matter what. It will be hard, but that's what I want. I want to stay at home with my kids until they're in school. And then when they're old enough, I want to take them to football games and to the park and read them books and tuck them in at night. I've been told that's a silly dream, but I don't care. That's part of the reason I don't mind that I'm not going to school right now, because that's not part of my dream. Yes, I want an education, but I don't feel like I need it at this second. Everyone wants to do everything so fast. Why can't we all just slow down and love people and each other? Having two parents that have three jobs each, I never see them. I don't ever want my family to become like the house I live in now. And that's what's keeping me going, the notion that one day, I'll have my dream. If the swimming pool doesn't happen, I guess that's okay... But the family and cooking and cleaning my house? And the love? I have to believe it will.
Because it will.
My future family, in a nutshell. And that's that.
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