I guess it's probably not a good idea to blog so very late, but I've got a lot of stuff on my mind. I've been thinking a lot lately about what makes me who I am, what motivates me. I find that the notion of finally finding something that I can rely on keeps me going, meaning, I haven't found that something yet. It's tiring, having yourself as the only person you feel you can fully trust. But even then, sometimes I betray myself by doing things that I know are going to be self-destructive. So really, I can trust no one, not even myself.
I'm super confused this week. I'm just trying to find a solid ground that I can stand on and it seems like every time I think something is going to be fine, it all falls apart. Meh, I'm going to bed. F this.
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