Reliability

Do you ever find yourself trying to rely on something that isn't there anymore?  I know I sure do.  I think my problem sometimes is that I love too much.  I didn't used to think this was possible, but I've recently discovered that I spend so much time being there for other people that I don't have time for myself.  And then when I'm not needed, I don't know what to do with myself.  I get bored and I simply worry about everyone else's problems.  The worst part about this is I feel it's a little selfish.  That's a weird concept, right?  Thinking that I'm selfish while I'm not even concerned about my own issues.  However, I think to some extent that I use those issues to put off dealing with my own.  That's the selfish part, I guess.

Anyways, now that I'm done analyzing myself for this morning, I'll give you an update on current life.  Basically I've been having allergic reactions to random ass things like tomatoes and broccoli, which are some of my favorite foods :(  I think I have oral allergy syndrome, which would account for all the weird allergy things I've had in the past or currently have.  It's not as bad as it sounds, haha.  I'm just supposed to avoid certain foods... which I do... usually...  I can't help that I'm allergic to the caramel in Carmello bars and that they are my favorite candy!!!!  I just make sure to have lots of water on hand.  I also had three night terrors yesterday.  That was incredibly enjoyable...  Not.  I'm getting awfully tired of these things.  And I'm also getting awfully tired because of these things.  It's also my first day of getting back on my medicines so I feel like crap, in addition to the crap I already feel about my weird food things that I can't eat now apparently.  Argh.  And that's all I'm gonna say about that.

Also, I think one of the things I miss most about being in a relationship is being woken up by someone else.  And what I mean by this is I sleep all the time and I miss having a guy to come wake me up so I'm not late for life.

Ending on a high note:
JESSIE FIXED MY TV FOR LOST!!!!!!!!!!!   AAHHHHH!   It was the premiere last night and thanks to him, I got to watch it in HD with no fuzziness or weird green and red colors!!  HOORAY!

Don't ask about this.